January 2009 Archives

I'm not sure what to say about my latest creation except the level of annoyance it took to bring it to fruition bordered on the obnoxious.

You know, the funny thing is I really think the reason it was so difficult was because it was cute.

I seem to have a problem with cute.

I don't mind cute on my terms. My Wee Dragons are way cute, for instance. And, yes, this creation is also quite cute, but, honestly, I don't have this much trouble when I do twisted, odd, weird, disturbing, or even "cute in a way that keeps its mother from devouring it".

Now, granted, some of the blame lies in the yarn itself.

I love natural fibers. I prefer them. But, after the Invasion of the Great Munching Menace of 2008, I am short an entire stash and definitely short of cash to replace it. (Only a tiny fraction of my stash survived, including the alpaca, thankfully.) Plus, I have seen my dragons in the hands of children and adults (mostly adults) and frankly, their treatment of the dragons runs about the same. This isn't a bad thing. They are played with and enjoyed, but being played with and enjoyed means they will get dirty. It's much easier to wash a dragon made out of acrylic rather than natural fibers. Sure, I have no problems making them out of something natural. I would love to. But, until someone commissions one with the request that natural is what they won't, I won't assume. Natural fibers require a special care that most people aren't aware of. Granted, more and more people are learning, but I really don't want to get an email saying they weren't aware that wool would felt quite like that and while it might still be a dragon, it really...well...do you know any good carnival sideshows?

I tried using a regular Red Heart kind of yarn, but it made the creation come out...stiff. The dragons kind of need a little stiffness to their fabric for what they are, but this one has floppy ears. Red Heart yarn, no matter how loosely you crochet it, does not produce the right amount of flop.

This is why I moved to the Homespun. I had some of it left over that had not been infected by the Munching Menace, and thought that it was just the right amount of soft and fluffy to give the right amount of flop.

And, I was right.

Yes, it argued with me. Yes, it tried to eat my hook. Yes, it would curse me under it's breath and unravel into an unworkable fluff while I was asleep. Still, it was perfect for the project.

So, without further ado and with much hope you guys will like it, I present:

Ball of Bun!

Now, I think he's pretty damn cute, and with the battle it took to design him and get the yarn to actually be him, I find a satisfying little twisted sense-of-humor in that smile.

I seriously hope ya'll like him because not only will there be more like him, but he is also the official Second Prize to my OWOH giveaway. You will find the official giveaway post updated, so even if you're after the bunny, please post comments there.

I have to tell you guys, this one was a hard one for me. He's very squishy and has ears that are perfect for playing Helicopter Bunny. He almost made me become a very rude blogger and inform ya'll that he's Mine, mine, and you can't have him! Nyah! But, I resisted.

Kind of.

Sort of.

He's smiling at me and one ear is flipped over his head.

February 12th better come quick...

_____________________ God, I'm losing my cred, I think. Our friends all know me as the person who not only got married on Halloween but who made most of the props for the reception. (Well, Todd did the seven-foot Grim Reaper. I love that man.) I have a handmade bat-winged skull over the fireplace. One of the first things I gave the Hubby when we started dating was a homemade candle holder that definitely looked as if it had a less than stellar day. I If I keep producing cute stuff, they might start thinking that the Halloween parties are going to have unspiked punch and Wal-Mart decorations. Definitely can't have that. After the Mardi Gras mask commission, it's back to my roots...that is, of course, if I'm not making dragons or bunnies...

You know, I know yarn is inanimate. I mean, for the most part. Okay, when it has been spun from fibers that came from a living creature, I sometimes expect some residual sentience. For instance, I once spent an entire weekend explaining to a ball of wool in no uncertain terms that it will become a pair of socks, and if continued that insubordinate attitude then it would get to know our fireplace up close and personal. After some back-talk, it finally listened. As I said, I kind of expect it from wool. It was once living, right? And, considering it was forcibly taken from a rather angry sheep then washed, carded, spun, dyed, and generally treated with what we would call "respect" but what with what it would call "abject cruelty," it's no wonder it has an attitude. Wool has an excuse. So, what the hell kind of excuse does the synthetic yarn I'm using have? Seriously. I've been having this argument with this stuff for days. I'm telling it it will be a bunny. It insults my lineage and frays into something that looks remarkably like Pomeranian fluff. I cut the fluff off, start over, and remind it that while it may try to eat my hook, I do still have a fireplace. Synthetic yarn is never as impressed with a fireplace. I think because it doesn't burn so much as melt and stink, getting the last laugh. The war has raged on. Last night, there was a victory as I achieved bunny feet with bunny toes. Hard to see in the yarn's fluffiness, but there are bunny toes! But, as you know, one victory doesn't often end a war, and war is not pleasant to look at. I shudder to show you the photograph of the progress, but I, for one, am all about letting people make their own decisions about what they should and should not see. Warning: if you have small children in the room, you might want to hide their impressionable eyes. Deep breath... I know. It's terrible, but I don't like hiding the truth from the world even if it's ugly. Yes, it's yarn carnage, but with hopes, from the carnage will come cute fluffiness. It's the price I pay for a bunny. And, may be the price you all pay. See, if the yarn cooperates and turns into a soft, squishy bunny in the next day or so, then I will offer it up as a runner-up prize for the One-World, One-Heart giveaway. So, you see, the process may be harsh and ugly, but from that comes fluffy squees! This yarn will not get the best of me! This yarn will become squishy goodness and it will like it! I will win! For the sake of the OWOH travelers, I will win! Stupid synthetic yarn. If my entire stash had not been invaded by moths, I'm sure the wool would be laughing.


______________________ The yarn is Lion Brand Homespun, which, while fluffy and soft and something you definitely pet, is a snaggable nightmare. Now, crocheters understand this, I think. It's not snaggable in the since that it will snag on a rounded corner of your coffee table if it comes within five feet of it. It's snaggable in the sense that you put your hook through the loop for a pull-through and what you get is fibers from the previous row who have decided they will take your hook for ransom. It is the cause of much cursing, a good deal of drinking, and enough growling to make the dog leave the room in worry.

Okay, I didn't blog for a few days so it would be easier for the OWOH travelers to find the giveaway post, but I can't stand it anymore! I must blog! So, I put the badge to the sidebar so people can find it. First of all, I just want to say how happy I am that all of you beautiful OWOH travelers dropped by for a visit! Greetings! Hello! And, please visit anytime! Even more so, thank you all for the lovely, kind words you had to say about my Wee Dragons! I love making them, and they bring a lot of joy and play to people of all ages. (Funnily enough, most of the people who commission them from me are adults who instantly turn into giggling kids when I hand them their new dragon friend. And, I have to tell you, it's the best ever!) I'd also like to thank Lisa Oceandreamer for hosting the event. I hadn't heard of it until a twitter friend sent a tweet about it. I was so excited! Lots of people with amazing talents to meet! I will participate every year as long as it happens. Thanks, Lisa! I'm sure this event will cause my blogroll to grow exponentially. I will also have to say that, damn, guys, ya'll are some seriously talented folks. In some ways, I am jealous as all get out, but mostly, you all inspire me to continue with my own arts. (Although, ya'll keep me humble, which isn't a bad thing, if you ask me.) Anyway, I hope you all continue to drop by and hang out and see how ye olde Crochet Cultist continues to develop/fights off the stagnation trolls/frightens small children and some adults. Take care all!

___________________________ The stagnation trolls are devious creatures. Just when you get in the blogging groove, they flick your ADD switch and suddenly you're not blogging because there's just something really interesting about that dryer lint...

This is the best evar! In an effort to connect bloggers and just spread some much needed hugs to the world, an event has been created to have hundreds of bloggers give of their art and of themselves on the same day. How cool is that? It's called One World-One Heart. Your friendly, neighborhood Crochet Cultist is all over this! Yes, folks, by leaving your comment and your contact information on this post, you can win your very own custom-made Wee Dragon! Let the models strut their stuff! (Sorry for the yellow look to this one. He really is blue and white. I'm still learning how to take pictures indoors.) The rules are simple: Please leave a comment on this blog post with your contact information along with your two favorite colors. (Or, if you choose, two shades of your one favorite color.) The spirally dragon is a new venture that was well received, so if you want that, please let me know. I will close comments on February 11, and on February 12, with the aid of random.org I will pick a winner. I will then contact you to finalize your preferences, and I will create your very own Wee Dragon! Please note that as of right now, I make these dragons out of acrylic yarn and poly-fil. The reason being that makes them easier to clean and take care of. If there is an allergy, please let me know. My pictures do them no justice. They are very cute and great companions. Their going opinion on things right now is: "Rowr!" Very eloquent. Again, please make sure you leave some way in the comments for me to get in touch with you be it your email or your blog with your email. Sorry to be tough, but if I don't receive email confirmation within three days, I will award the prize to someone else. Don't want you to miss out on your Wee Dragon! Also, having had a wonderful amount of response to my giveaway, I have decided to offer a second prize. Please meet the recently designed and created Ball of Bun! Yes, he's a little fluffy ball of bunny that sits about 4 1/2 inches tall with ears that are perfect for Helicopter Bunny! He is made from the very soft Homespun yarn and fits in your hand or sits perfectly at your computer to bring you up on a bad day. Hope ya'll enjoy him as well! And, if you want, here is the participant list to enter more giveaways. Take care. Have a good heart. Give love.

____________________ Okay, I meant to mention the dragons are about a foot long from tail tip to chest and stand between 5 and 6 inches high at the head. Also, I would also love, love, love it if the winner took a picture of themselves with the Wee Dragon or at least their Wee Dragon in the wild! :-)

The Punk Dragon is done. Okay, I call it a punk dragon because while it looks a little like something a member of the Clash might find adorable, there really is a reason behind it. Let me explain. See, I'm a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism where we create a persona that existed from a time period ranging from "how early do ya wanna go?" to 1600, dress up in outfits that mimic that time period, go to events to watch men and women in armor beat the snot out of each other while eating, drinking, being merry and learning how to be more accurate in our persona. It's all historical and yet not, hence the "Anachronism" part of the title. Anyway, it's a fun hobby. As I mentioned, there is fighting. Well, the fighters need a kind of referee to make sure everyone's armor is up to snuff, to keep them from getting too carried away, and letting them know when a piece of armor has blown out. This is only a small portion of what they do. They are the Safety Squad. In order to distinguish them on the fighting field as marshalls they carry around a black and yellow stick. For example: For obvious reasons, we call it the Twisty Stick. A friend of ours is a marshall and commissioned from me a black and yellow dragon. He, essentially, wanted a Twisty Dragon. Ask and ye shall receive: I wasn't so sure about this one. I was kind of afraid he would be a bit obnoxious or look something like a crazed bumble bee, but you know, I think he came out pretty cool. I like him. He's a dragon that marches to the beat of his own drum and really doesn't care what the other dragons think. He also makes me think I should do more punk dragons. Wee Dragons, Punk and Goth Editions. Oh, and I tried taking better pictures of my niece's dragon. The other pictures I took just weren't that great. The rainbow yarn I used looked way more red than it is and not all that palatable. (Not that I was all that happy about using rainbow yarn anyway. But, she's five. What do you do?) I think this is a slightly better pic. The reds don't look quite as harsh. It still looks better in person. I just wish I could have found a rainbow yarn with a bit more yellow. As I had said, though, I had a hard enough time looking for rainbow yarn that didn't look a rainbow had thrown up after a bender. Of course, the next dragon commission is a camouflaged dragon for a five-year-old boy. Kids. They know what they want, that's for sure. _____________________________ I earned serious brownie points with a group of emo teens at the Barnes and Noble stitch last Friday. About five of them came up and nervously pointed out how cool my dragons were. I thanked them, after which they shuffled their feet a bit, looked a little embarrassed, grinned sheepishly, and ran off. I didn't think I was all that scary.

The CPSC has gotten the hint!

From the House Energy and Commerce Committee site:

January 21, 2009

WASHINGTON – U.S. Reps. Joe Barton, R-Texas, and George Radanovich, R-Calif., today sent a letter to House Energy and Commerce Committee Chairman Henry Waxman asking him to convene a hearing to examine the problems in implementing the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act of 2008.

“The e-mails, letters and phone calls we have received from constituents about the unintended consequences of certain provisions and deadlines in the CPSC’s implementation plan now number in the thousands.,” the Republicans wrote. “Many involved in CPSIA’s creation were passionate to improve the safety of our children’s products, but surely no one expected or wanted to drive thousands of home-based and small businesses out of operation and turn thousands of Americans into surprise victims of a brutal recession.

“Mr. Chairman, we remain strong supporters of the intentions behind last Congress’s toy safety legislation, and what we now request is not an overhaul of that work, but a necessary fine-tuning to make certain that real toy safety is achieved without the serious unintended consequences that so many innocent people now face. The first step toward providing prudent and effective relief is for our committee to conduct a hearing so everyone involved can explore the facts for themselves, understand the urgency, and coalesce around a solution.”

Read the letter they sent here.

Woohoo! We're getting notice! Don't stop, though! Until we hear of a halt, a change, or a complete overhaul, don't stop! We can't give up too quickly!

Supposedly, President Obama (God, I love saying that.) issued orders to suspend all new regulations implemented by the previous administration until they can be reviewed. Now, there's debate on whether that includes the CPSIA. It technically is law, but it doesn't officially start to be enforced until Feb. 10. So, does that make it a new regulation or is it exempted from that order?

No one seems to know.

We can hope it is included. Whether it is or not, the fight goes on.



______________________
On another note, he also vowed "transparency and the rule of law will be the touchstones of this presidency." I hope so. I am so sick of all the behind closed doors of the previous administration. It definitely wasn't something that instilled trust in our government.

Art of Spirit Leatherworks on Etsy put out a call that it was probably time to have some civil disobedience:

I am wondering how the court system would respond to a gabillion handcrafters being hauled up on compliance charges? If we all stand our ground perhaps that will force the changes that were so obviously overlooked in this bill.

I say hell yeah! There has been a large contingent of people who have decided they will not stop selling. They will not give up their livelihoods for this stupid law. And, you know, for the first time in my life I realized I would happily go to jail for something. So, on Feb. 10, the date the law goes into effect, I am opening an Etsy shop. I am going to sell my Wee Dragons. The CPSIA be damned. It might fail; it might not; it might be a minor blip on the radar, but dammit, I'm not going to stop. I have been hoping for a while that I could sell my Wee Dragons, and Etsy is giving me a platform to do that and the government isn't going to stop me because of a stupid knee-jerk reaction.

I also encourage everyone to go out that day and buy things from those Etsy shops who refuse to bend to this ridiculous law.

If nothing else, we might need the money for bail.




_____________________
Man, I swear they don't know who they're messing with. Crafters don't play around. Someone else has started a CPSIA compliant treasury. You know, I think my nieces need some of those $3000 tutus...

Go! Sign!

Now!

Dammit!

Reform CPSIA

So, I'm running through articles and stuff about the CPSIA trying to give myself an injection of hope that the word is getting out there about how ridiculous it all is when I ran into the blog of Walter Olson, the guy who wrote the Forbes piece. He has a really good blog post about the CPSIA as well called "Kid's empty shelves." Anyway, when I was reading the comments I saw this one and nearly snorted my tea: Alan Kellogg:

"Today in response to complaints the CSPIA [sic] is damaging the market for children’s goods, the DoJ has announced that testing being too great a burden on the industry, all children’s products are being banned. Clothing, toys, even eating utensils are hereby outlawed. From now on children must go around naked, play with rocks and sticks, and eat with their hands. Bedding and soap being barred as well, dirty children sleeping naked on bare floors should become a common sight. Said one prominent environmental spokesman, “Water usage alone is going to see a huge decrease.” When asked their opinion most children would reply, “No more baths? Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

Thank you, Alan, I needed the laugh. _______________________ The hubby and I were walking into Best Buy when we saw a guy with a kettle corn stand set up in the parking lot. Todd looked at me and said, "But has it been tested for lead?! You never know when I child might get a hold of kettle corn! Call the CPSC!" I love that man.

Yeah, when one of the biggest money magazines recognizes that the CPSIA is a bad idea, then it's a bad idea, people!

Scrap the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act



_________________________

Took a bit of time off the last couple of days. Kept connected. Did some emailing. Did some brainstorming. Took care of some home things. Realized that no matter what, they will not stop us. Also realized that if they didn't intend for this law to hurt the little guy as some people say, then why don't they actually say that? Is it so hard to clarify? Well, you know, it's easier to blame dissenters and "misinformation". Damn politicians.

Okay, I sent this up on Etsy and the Handmade Toy Alliance and I'm out to hit any place I can think of.

This is basically the letter I'm sending out:

Hello there!

Unfortunately, I wasn't aware of the CPSIA until today. I wish I had known months ago, but life was very much preventing me from keep up with things beyond my living room. Either way, I am signing petitions and writing people and doing anything I can. Tonight, though, I had an idea. It seems that many people are being met with the same reaction from our Congressional representatives. Just a blanket, "We understand, but you'll understand this is the right thing." They don't really answer questions because they really don't understand. These people don't craft. They don't make things for themselves. Their grandmothers might have, but they don't. All they see is an easy answer for a problem in front of them, nevermind that nothing is ever that easy. Nothing is that black and white.

What I'm thinking is that we need to start enlisting the aid of every crafter, reseller, homeschool supplier, toymaker, etc. we can find and have them send examples to our Congress people exactly what their blanket legislation is hurting. Imagine Congress, or even Mr. Obama (which it might be better to send it all to him), getting inundated with thousands of homemade toys, clothing, learning aids, Native American cultural pieces, and more with tags on them saying, "Thanks to the CPSIA, this handcrafted (insert item type) which was made with love and a determination to protect our children from dangerous toys and big business practices will be illegal after Feb 10. Thanks to the CPSIA, my (homebased/small/individually run/resell) business will be forced to go bankrupt."

It's hard to ignore thousands of toys. It's hard to just push us to the side when he can't see the floor of the oval office for all the handcrafted items staring at him asking what is he going to do next. And, it's bound to get some much needed public attention beyond the craft world. CNN was a start, but it can't stop there.

I don't know if this rings well with you guys, but I think it's what I plan on doing, and I'm going to try to enlist everyone I know. I thought of sending it to our local Congress people but receiving it in bulk in one place would be better. I'm going to try to find out where we can reach Obama, and if we have to wait until after next week, then so be it. The Oval Office it is. This law is the most ridiculous thing I've ever come across and I'll be damned if someone is going to force handcrafting into the underground over little-minded bureaucracy.


The more I think about it the more I think we should flood the oval office. It's doubtful our President-elect even knows about this considering he has little things like the economy and the war to worry about. Either way, it's time to get him to notice because this can be a major, major blow to the economy. And, that's what these people don't see. The economy can be saved by small businesses, and if you chunk a huge percentage of them into the crapper, do you know what that will do?

Come on guys! We can do this!

In Obama's words: Yes, we can!

I swear, I have the worst damn timing in the world. Seriously. I finally have the means to go into massage therapy. I go to school. I study hard. I pass. I get a job. I love my job. The economy bombs. So, I think, well, what else can I do that might keep me out of the hell that is the Cube Farm? I make dragons. I love making dragons. I love making toys in general. People have really been on a move to buy handmade items especially after these last couple of years with all the horrors they call toys coming out of Chinese manufacturers.

Yeah, well, the government is making a move, too, but while it might help protect children from the idiocies of big business, it looks to completely destroy small handcrafting businesses that aim at children, especially toys.

"New Law Could Wipe Out Handcrafted Toy Makers"

Now, I have seriously been out of the loop what with getting married and trying to keep my job going and all, so I'm sorry to say I have only learned of this. I know anyone who is anyone in handcrafting already knows about the CPSIA. If you don't, check out Etsy as they are definitely all over it. Also, here is a lovely site that is fighting the good fight: Handmade Toy Alliance. And, let us definitely not forget Buy Handmade. Visit these sites. Learn. Get angry.

I'm doing what I can, as I think everyone should, but after two weeks of little work and finding out that the toys I want to make to not only bring joy to people but supplement my seemingly failing income in this increasingly failing economy will be essentially illegal, I am seriously, utterly, depressed beyond belief.

I can't even label my items for 13 years and older because according to the idiots maintaining the CPSIA, all stuffed toys are made for people of all ages; therefore, they way they see it, anything that a kid might think is a toy can be considered a toy and must come under this ridiculous law.

I tell you, if they enforce this law, this country will see this recession reach proportions they never had nightmares about. Small businesses are what could save this economy, and they're looking to effectively ruin a good portion of them. Many are calling February 10 (the day the law goes into effect) as National Bankruptcy Day. According to this law, after Feb. 10, you can't even resell these items at garage sales. I mean, it's seriously insane.

Yeah, unless Mr. Obama changes this monstrosity, crafters are seriously screwed. Well, children are screwed since they won't be able to enjoy what crafters wish to make for them.

I guess I better take up something less cute, like maybe Mr. Happy the Crocheted Dildo.



__________________________
Look, I'm all for protecting kids, but this bubble wrapping the fucking planet has got to go. Yeah, the laws on this imports need to be more stringent, but this oversweeping lack of common sense has got to stop! I can tell you right now that most crafters will find a way around this. If a massive underground movement towards crafting doesn't start up, I'll be surprised.

SCAdians, do you have any idea how this is going to affect merchants who sell handmade toys, clothing, etc. for kids? It's going to be rather ugly, my friends.

Okay, so there wasn't much in the way of crocheting, embroidering, or anything else I normally would be doing to drown my sorrows when I once again go a day without work. (You know, when I went into massage, the economy was much better...)

Today, I took it as a sign that I needed to heed my number one resolution for the New Year: get this house organized.

The sad thing is it took six hours to organize my desk and a clothes hamper that seemed to have been attracting random junk since 1998.

I will at least admit that shredding the seemingly unending piles of credit card offers and random junk mail took up most of the time, but it did take a damn long time.

In the end, while there was no gainful employment or crafting, there was a clean desk and a spot on the floor that was happily vacant but frightfully cleaner than the floor around it.

There is still no gainful work scheduled for tomorrow, but I'm sure between Resolution #1 and several crafts, I can keep busy.

Too bad it's not paying for the time.



_________________________________

Resolution #1 sounds like some Bush government reaction to crafting. "In these days of terror, we can't risk that our way of life will be threatened by knitted body parts and scrapbooking. These un-American activities must stop. I am enacting Resolution #1. It will ensure America's safety against art, ingenuity, and penis cozies."

Although, he'd never be able to spit out the word "ingenuity" and know what it meant.

Don't look at me like that! I listened to the man use the word "mis-underestimate" during his last meeting with the White House press corps. I make no apologies for the truth.

Well, at least this one admits that she "like(s) to make strange things."

There are no such desires to create a "cute" and or "cuddly" digestive tract. It's just made for the sake of making it because it's there and it's a strange thing to do.

I can't hardly fault that.

There is, however, still no excuse for the penis cozy. (Well, unless you're going for sterilization.)






___________________________________
In retrospect, while I still give props to the Uterus Queen for managing to make my innards twitch with disgust, applying the words "cute" and "cuddly" to anything that falls under the term of "guts" really brings her reasoning behind making a knitted uterus under question, and I might have to recant my original idea that the fact it's so twisted makes it cool. I might have to revert back to "She's not allowed to have sharp objects, right?"

Okay, I have to admit, when I first saw this about a year ago, I was very much disturbed and wanting to send the knitter away for various degrees of electro-shock therapy.

Look, crochet gets a bad rep enough. What with the color-blind old women, pom-poms, and cross-eyed, Southern belle toilet paper cozies, I'm not shocked. I cringe whenever a crochet pattern appears. It will either be so terrible in its own right that sane crocheters have recreate it into something feasible, or someone will think it should be neon green and puke yellow.

It makes the life of a crochet activist rather difficult.

Now, I was prepared to give the creator of this pattern a good dressing down. It creeps me the hell out, yo. It makes me think of serial killers and those cautionary DMV films they used to show us, like "Blood on the Highway." While the creator seems to have a rather kittens and bunnies approach to things, it still made me wonder what lurked under that happy knittiness. When you start knitting internal organs it really makes me wonder if you're one step away from killing your whole family with a set of DPNs.

I don't think it would have disturbed me as much except the pattern creator had posted she decided during her anatomy and physiology lessons to create a "cute, cuddly uterus doll." Dude, seriously. Anyone who thinks an internal organ is cute and cuddly is a serial killer. I expect to hear they found many interesting things in her refrigerator.

Now, it's been a while since a friend (I'm pretty sure it was Kat) sent me this...this...thing. But, I don't think it's something where the stay of execution could expire.

I fully intended to rail on this tonight, but then I realized that it was exactly what I look for. I like the twisted and unusual. It would be completely hypocritical of me to denounce this work because it made me kind of shudder in nausea. I was willing to declare war on this until I realized, "Dude, I would totally do this to freak people out."

This knitted uterus has done what many horror movies could not: it freaked me out, and damn, it deserves my respect.

I think mostly because it was posted in a tree like some sort of serial killer trophy, but still, I can't give fault for achieving what I would have gone for: abject disgust.

Now, granted, that might not have been the creator's intent, but I'm willing to accept it anyway because otherwise she crosses the line from "awesomely twisted" into "glassy-eyed insanity." Either way, hats off to her for making me shudder and want to share the horror with my friends.

Huzzah!

____________________________________________
And, this still doesn't compare to cozies. Look, if it doesn't keep a teapot or a dish warm, it's just insanity. After finding a knitted slip cover for a chair - which pretty much makes it a chair sweater - I was determined to declare war on cozies. A friend threatened to make me a cozy for cozies, which would make it a sack...

She is so getting something awful next Christmas.

So, we're sitting at Barnes and Noble having a long overdue Stitch and Bitch (Sue me, Sew Fast, Sew Easy assholes, I dare you. You'll get a pair of used sneakers and a lot of debt.) While we were not complete, we were very happy to have the three of us together despite the lack of a coupe of regulars. Hell, I wasn't even supposed to be there because the hubby and I had planned to go to ShadowCon, but the hubby has contracted the Dreaded Fever Virus (TM). While he was good with going anyway, I explained that we were rooming with the woman who married us and, while she is an understanding human being, it would be very rude to infect her with the local plague as a thank you for taking time-out to, you know, help us tie the knot. When I texted her said plan, she agreed that infecting her wasn't so much desired.

(Just to let you know, I texted her, and she was "drunking". I told her to toast debauchery, gamey nerds (smelly and otherwise), dead famous people, and boobies!)

But, as a side effect, I got to go have Stitch with a couple of my girls. This made things so much better.

So, anyway, we're sitting there, stitching and bitching and minding our own business when a man interrupted us with a very sudden "Okay ,we have knitters here!"

In a startled moment of "Well, duh!" we waited for him to continue.

He said, "Okay, this is what I need in the next ten minutes: a scarf, some gloves, some socks..."

We, of course, started laughing and politely and not so politely informed him, that while he is very funny, we are pre-occupied.

He came over to inspect my dragon on the table and declared, "This is crochet!"

That stopped us.

Lara exclaimed that she was very proud that he knew the difference. (I'm sorry guys, very few of you know the difference. Very few non-crafters know the difference, including so-called archeological experts who dig up nalbinding and swear it's knitting.)

That's when he informed us that he crocheted.

Whoa. Dude.

That was a moment for a pause.

A man who crochets and admits it?

We were stunned.

A few seconds later he announced that he had some crochet (a hat for his grandfather) in the car that he had wished he had brought in.

Of course, we demanded he go and fetch it. There was no argument otherwise. If he would have said it was at home, I would have demanded he go and get it anyway. Again, how many men admit they crochet? Dude, he wasn't going to escape this.

So, he fetched said project and joined us. We learned his name was Marcus.

And, then the world shrunk a few thousand miles as he realized he knew Freddi from a previous job.

Dude. What are the odds?

He knew yarn. He loves movies. He once met BB King. He crocheted in public, and it didn't affect his masculinity. And, as an added bonus, he wants to learn to crochet with beads. All this while he is waiting tables at Red Lobster and teaching a workshop on mixed street dancing. There is some seriously high ratings on the coolness factor here.

We like him.

He has been adopted.

If nothing else, he must take up the beaded crochet so we can a) watch and b) live vicariously through him since we would be murdered by our various significant others if we picked up other hobbies that would take up more money and space in the house, which we don't have.

So, in conclusion, our Stitch and Bitch (seriously, go ahead and sue me for the debt I don't want) is sucking in random people who aren't random but are random anyway.

We are the Stitch Borg and you will be Assimilated.

It's only a matter of time.

It might now be the best picture. I might try for a better pic outside with natural light. I'm not as good with artificial stuff.

Either way, Allison's dragon is done.














I swear the rainbow yarn is not as bad as it looks here. Sure there is more red and not a lot of yellow, but as previously mentioned, all the other rainbow yarn I found looked as if it was something a rainbow would barf up after a hard night of drinking. I work with what I have.

I don't think it looks half bad. I hope Allison likes it.

It's what she asked for.

Granted, she's five which means she doesn't remember yesterday past the fact that the boy down the street likes the fact she has "boy toys" in her toy chest.

That's my girl.

I hope for better pictures later.



___________________________

Seriously, the rainbow parts of this dragon look better in person. This has been confirmed. Curse my lack of ability to photograph well!

So, when asked how long the Wee Dragons take to make, I told them a couple of days. When I made the first two, they didn't take me long.

Okay, so either I have transformed the pattern into a complicated mess in the interest of streamlining the whole process or I am a liar. I have realized now that it really takes about a week to do a Wee Dragon.

Now, honestly, that wouldn't bother me, except I told a couple of people it took a couple of days, and one of them commissioned one. I fully intend to send my apologies, but wow, I feel terrible.

I think a lot of the problem was largely the holidays and work and the hubby coming down with an incredible fever and this urge to actually, I don't know, update a blog or two.

I need to create a schedule for my hobbies.

Either way, I feel like a liar. I know the pattern needed some fixing but apparently it is causing issues with productivity. And, the problem is, it's still evolving. It needs to. I'm sure in the future it will come back down to it taking a couple of days to complete a dragon, but until then, it's longer than expected. I just need to admit that to myself.

Doesn't mean I won't take commissions, but I have to at least remember to tell them that it could take about a week per dragon, and I have at least two commissions ahead of them.

You know, building up an inventory and doing an Etsy shop might be easier.

Oops.

Eh. If nothing else, at least I am enjoying making them. The niece's dragon will be done tomorrow, and it has given me great joy to make. Hope they all do, and I hope the Wee Dragons spread the joy wherever they go.

Okay, so there is something inherently cool about making a toy. I had forgotten how much I really enjoyed making my Wee Dragons (TM) until I decided to rework the pattern for my niece. Egads, they are a joy to make. You may remember me posting the one I had made for Todd when the blog was in it's early stages. Ain't it cute? Honestly, it's actually cuter in person. I recently brought it to an SCA event to use as a model while I working on my "test" dragon trying to get that damn pattern straightened out. After about the fifteenth cry of "Oh my god! That's the most adorable thing I've ever seen!" I started to wonder if I should start trying to sell the things. Some friends agreed and commissioned two of them. This was the first one finished. It's in Charlie's device colors of blue and white. Rowr! The colors are a little yellowed here. I still haven't gotten the hang of the camera. Either way, he was thrilled which thrilled me. The other friend wants one that is yellow and black, and I have to figure up a way to make it spirally. Yeah, it's taking me some time. He might need a discount. Either way, this has seriously sent me on a toy kick. I'm enjoying the whole process. (Well, except the whole sore fingertips thing that happens when you try to sew using a big honking needle and yarn, but the little finger rubber tip thingies have seriously helped.) I'm finding it's got a very calming quality to it. It is incredibly hard to be depressed or generally upset when you're piecing together a toy. Toys are meant for love and play and seem to emanate that even before they are finished if only because that is their intention. It's pretty amazing. I'm currently working on the one for my niece that created this obsession. When I talked to her on Christmas, she said she wanted one that was purple and rainbow. Okay, there was a part of me that seriously had to cringe. Here is my niece who was once praised by a little boy for having "boy toys" in her toy chest and who likes to dig worms out of the garden and who not only plays with my rubber and latex toad but who is quite entranced by my "scarey crow" (grim reaper). The purple and rainbow choice worried me. But, it's what she wanted, and at the same time, she seems to have the girly-girl thing balanced with an equal amount of grrrly-girl. I have to tell you, finding the right kind of rainbow variegated yarn was a chore. There are some seriously ugly yarns out there. Yarns I wish they'd stop making because they are what color-blind cozy-makers use to give crocheters a bad name. (At least the novelty yarn thing seems to have calmed down.) I was starting to think I had to settle for the lesser of two Yucks when I saw one that wasn't by any means the most tasteful, but at least was relatively non-offensive. It at least looked vaguely rainbow-like unlike some of the other yarns that looked more like what happens if a rainbow were to barf. When I started working it up into the various dragon bits, I was still worried. Now, granted, it might be because I am not a girly-girl (unless I'm watching a costume-type movie) and am a bit biased. Currently, I am sewing the dragon parts together, and, you know, it doesn't look as bad as I imagined. Todd tells me that to a five-year-old it will be gorgeous. I'm not sure if that was a compliment. I will have pictures when it is finished. By tomorrow, I hope. After this one, the spirally one. After that one, the camouflage one. Hey, it's what she wanted, and I offered. Sometimes a little boy who is into the outdoors needs a stealth dragon to take along on his adventures. I just wish I had a few made for the sci-fi convention we're attending this weekend. I'm sure I could have sold them. I will try to take commissions. Might be easier that way anyway. Better pictures later!

I think I might have things just about where I want them. There are a few things I would like to tweak, but the new customization thingie on Blogger isn't as customizable as they dreamed. I just spent a lot of time fixing things and I'm pretty sure I don't want to do it all over again, so this might work for a while.

Now, on to the other blog...

Well, first, I have to cook the gumbo.

It's time to get this blog back up and running, but I think, in honor of all the changes that have happened in my life recently, it's time to give Ye Olde Blog a makeover of sorts. I'm pretty sure there is no one left reading this, not that I blame ya'll for getting bored and heading out, but I hope to breathe some life into this thing again. Still debating about changing the name. I am crocheting more than ever now, lord knows I have enough hobbies to damn near need a schedule to keep them all going. Crochet, embroidery, paper mache, needlefelting... Yeah, it's time the blog was ressurected and updated to reflect all this.

So, for those stumbling in, please pardon the mess. It'll all be nice and shiny and pretty very soon.