September 2009 Archives

I've been a little busy with the paper mache thing. How busy? Behold my once empty and neat creative lair: [caption id="attachment_482" align="alignnone" width="200" caption="I swear the picture makes it look neater than it actually is."][/caption] There are two pumpkins that have to be done within the next couple of weeks and sent to Mom. There are more I want to do and get done just to have.  The thing in the lower left corner that looks like it's in some fetish play involving painter's tape is actually the beginning of a very large spider.  (Yeah, the party is themed "Zombie Apocalypse" but I just don't have the time to do zombies.  They are more involved than a spider.  So, we will pretend we are having a party during the apocalypse.  Hey, it happens during hurricanes all the time.) The pipes and blue foam monstrosity is the innards of the Grim Reaper.  He is in need of some repairs. As you can tell, the room is badly in need of shelves.  As Super Hubby is fond of saying, "Step at a time."  Right now, I must focus on getting things ready for the party.  This weekend will include massive unpacking and decorating.  At some point in the next few weeks between making with the party readiness and work and stuff, I have to come up with a costume. I'm still thinking 50's housewife with Valium-induced insanity.  So insane she's adopted a zombie child... [caption id="attachment_483" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Ya'll remember Timmy, right? He's such a good kid; eats all the brains on his plate..."][/caption] Timmy is currently sitting at the dining room table, waiting for "Mom" to feed him.  Oh, I have ideas...oh, yes...ideas... Until then, I have to get those damned pumpkins done.  Sleep?  Yeah, not so much this weekend. Of course, I have no one to blame but myself.  I promised Mom and Dinah pumpkins.  Pumpkins they will get. And, it has to be soon. Wow.  No pressure. ___________________________ Timmy likes his brains with lots of ketchup because it reminds him of blood.  Timmy is such a Good Child...

So, I missed last week. I choose to live life without regrets. So, this week has had some interesting developments and  moments of "so, I got out of bed for what good reason?"

• The Louisiana Curse, as many of you who follow me on Facebook and Twitter know, held strong and true this last weekend.  While making my way across an event site with some friends who were concerned about my well-being to make my way across said site after so many drinks (even though I wasn't nearly as drunk as one of the pair walking me back), I managed to find the one and only hole on the entire site and twist my ankle.  So, yes, when I go to an event down south, I always fall and hurt myself.  I figure that I hate Louisiana and it hates me right back with slippery port o' potty floors, tree stumps, and muddy holes.  I hear pollution is causing seas to rise and coasts to erode.  A few thousand more plastic water bottles and Louisiana will be nothing more than an oil spot on the ocean and my revenge shall be complete.
• "The Vampire's Assistant"?  Are you fucking kidding me?  I couldn't finish watching the trailer because it's total stupidity was like watching one of the Sweet Valley High books put to the screen!  What few special effects I saw were obviously done by an emo tween, and the rest was just screaming "Cashing in on the whole teenager vampire fetish started by a Mormon who obviously has some serious issues."
• Now, "Zombieland?"  That's a movie with some bite.  No pun intended.  If the trailers say anything, it will have some serious silliness mixed with the satirical.  See, if the previous movie mentioned would not seemingly take itself seriously, it might not end up a victim of one of our bad movie nights.  "Zombieland," however, is obviously high comedy...with zombies.  Woo!
• No, I don't have a thing about vampires.  I have a thing about vampires that aren't basically evil, disgusting beasts who make you fear there might not be an afterlife.  I went through the "vampires are pretty" phase and came out the other side realizing that, hey, that's some serious necrophilia going on there, and um, ew.
• So, Super Hubby is going in for surgery on Monday.  It's nothing major, just an insurance against mutant children in the future.  Yes, he's going to be "snipped", "fixed", "broken", or however you call it.  It was happening sooner than I thought.  It sucks because I know my doctor would've given me grief for weeks for wanting a more solid birth control solution without having kids.  Turns out, the method for me isn't as dependable.  That's some poetic justice there.  Oh, and I would like to say, and I will when I see him next, a nice, solid "Fuck you" to a dear friend of ours who declared I will want kids in a couple of years.  I am so sick of people putting a fucking timetable on my uterus.
• So, the Halloween party is in three weeks.  It has a theme.  I am not prepared for such theme for various reasons.  I am scrambling to make things fit the theme.  Next year will be better.  This year...I'm biting my nails that people will enjoy it!
• We decided tonight that it's especially good that we're not wanting kids because we figure Stupid Baby Tricks probably wouldn't go over well with most folks.
• And, no, I don't hate children.
• Speaking of kids, my nieces are doing fantastic!  My oldest niece is reading!  Reading!  That's so fab I don't know what to do!  Her little sister is making the gymnastics people stand in awe of her at the age of three!  My girls are awesome!  I will so corrupt them into even more awesome little monsters!  Wind 'em up and let 'em go is our policy in this family!  Woo!
• I've lost 4 pounds on  Weight Watchers!  I'm not perfect, but it's still working.  Now, that is an advert if I ever heard one.
• Holy, shit!  Three weeks until the party?  There is no sleep in my future!
• My mom?  Completely awesome.  She is a nurse during the Swine Flu "scare".  Trust me, if anyone deserves our pity it's our healthcare folks dealing with overreacting idiots.
• The cousin I used to babysit is having her second kid.  Yes, I feel quite old.  Screw you people who remember my birthday and snicker.
• I am an adult.  I can have ice cream for dinner.  Screw you kids on my lawn!

So, this concludes another Totally Random Thursday.  Please tip your waitress.  The economy is bad, I know, but at least give her something to remember.  Vibrators count. ___________________________ So, I'm knee deep in projects and not much in the way of pictures.  There will be.  I can't be held responsible for their quality seeing as how I'll be high on no sleep and alcohol.  But, those who see them at the party will be able to account for the obvious lack of sleep and alchohol.  I love Halloween.

So, Halloween. Well, it hasn't so much snuck up on me as it has leaped down from the top of a shelf and brained me. I'm really, really behind.  Of course, after the whole house-buying and job moving thing, no one should be surprised.  Let's add to that the fact my craft/mess room was non-functional until a couple of weeks ago...just before we had to go to two major events way the hell out of town. Are these excuses?  Nope, but these things definitely put me at a disadvantage when it comes to time to get several props done and this house ready for the impending Halloween party. If these are not excuses, then what does it mean?  It means that I am officially challenged.  (No, not mentally challenged, you lunatics, although some people would argue with me over that one.)  You guys all know that I don't function if I'm not suitably challenged.  (Stop snickering!)  I have, what, three weeks to make this place look like George Romero exploded all over it. I can totally do it. Totally. I'm not at all feeling pressured or stressed. Not at all. I am totally in control. I have one jack-o-lantern experiment on the table...umpteen more to go, plus zombie hands, fake boards, some heads... I can totally do this... Please, send all donations of spirit-sustaining alcohol to The Crochet Cultist c/o Papermasks the Nuts. _________________________ You know, I promised my mom and my cousin some mutant jack-o-lanterns this year.  They are first priority, but man, the zombie heads would've been cool.  I might need to recruit some aid...  I will not say that next year this rush will not happen, but dammit, now that I have my room ready, there will be much work on next year's theme, Freak Show.  I really want the neighbors to know what they're getting into.  Heh.

Okay, so I missed a week or two. Shoot me. No, don't.  I have too many projects to finish. Either way:

• My brother is out of Afghanistan! He is safe and sound with his family!  I am so grateful!
• I had a wicked awful dream that could make a killer plot for NaNoWriMo if I can flesh it out more.  I always wanted to write at least one horror novel.  Just one.  One that is enough to make the skin crawl in the shadows of the night.  Just one.
• On an SCA front, we will have a new Baron and Baroness this weekend, and I'm already seeing those I determined will be total dickheads fulfill my expectations and several I thought would fall to the wayside declare they will do the best they can for the good of our Barony.  Those latter folks make me feel proud.  The others will definitely get a good scowling.
• My craft room is functional!  Super Hubby taught me to lay tile, so I spent the weekend ripping up carpet and laying said tile in a non-sexual manner, and feeling quite proud of myself.  Of course, I wish he had some advice for not wearing most of the adhesive.  I couldn't get my damn shoe off...
• My craft room is functional!  It bears repeating.  It's not finished, but oh, the paper mache and paint will splatter once again!  I'm all giddy and stuff!
• I finished an emergency embroidery project that was well-received by our baroness-elect.  Of course, I forgot to take pictures.
• Apparently, Zombie Apocolypse is the theme for this year's Halloween party.  That was the original plan, sure, but we couldn't get the venue we wanted, so I thought I'd put it off until next year when there's more time to plan...  Yeah, I had people and their children - seriously, their kids - pout at me.  The words "But, Richard has been planning this all year." came to me and I had to relent.  So, zombies.  This is not a bad thing, but the difference in venue definitely poses some interesting hurdles.  No time to teach the zombies how to do the Thriller dance, though.  Bummer.
• Next year's Halloween party theme is Freak Show.  Oh, yes, baby, I so have plans...
• It's going to be hot as hell for the event this weekend, isn't it?  *sigh*
• Oh, wait, it's supposed to rain all weekend, so the humidity will prevent me from actually being able to get out of my dresses.  Joy.
• Weight Watchers...still doing it...sort of...I keep hoping for the jello-giggly mindset to turn to concrete...
• Holy moley I want a whole lot of chips.
• Tomorrow will ben an adventure of juggling.  Eventually, we will get to site.  Whether or not we have food, we'll see.

And, this introduces your Friday.  Friday will be as plain or awful as you see it.  It's Friday.  It's always better than monday by default.  Live it up! ________________________ I am totally counting the points for these italics.  Totally.  Maybe.  Well shit.  This was easier on paper.

So, I joined Weight Watchers. Despite my ob/gyn's reassurance that  Depo Provera will not make me gain weight, 40 pounds in three years really makes me side with my more knowledgable GP who explained just why those statistics the ob/gyn was quoting to me were skewed on the side of teh Depo creators.  Let's add to that every woman I have ever met who ever tried Depo telling me they gained weight really fast.  Now, let's also add to this my heritage.  I'm Mexican/Native Indian/German.  That is the kind of genetic make-up guaranteed to make me blow up like Violet in "Willy Wonka" 'cept that it won't be blueberry juice giving me my nice round appearance. I'm definitely changing ob/gyn.  I'm also, because of said genetic make-up and current age, having a hell of a time losing the weight.  So, to Weight Watchers I go. I've done it before, and I did lose weight, and I did keep it off for a long time.  So, at least I know it will work at least some. I'm just a little depressed I'm having to go back.  Now, granted, on top of the Depo, hubby and I have not been very good with our general diet and that is definitely a contribution.  I won't deny that, and neither will he.  Still, I hate that I'm in this position again. Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm not fatphobic or anything.  I find a lot of beauty in women of all sizes.  I would probably find a lot of beauty in me if I wasn't so uncomfortable.  And, that's the thing, I'm not comfortable.  I know women twice my size who are perfectly happy.  I know women rail thin who are also content.  I also know those in those same categories who hate themselves.  Me?  Okay, for a while it was hatred fed by unreal expectations of society.  I've come to terms with that.  Now, I just don't feel right.  I don't feel comfortable.  I don't feel healthy.  I feel like I pay attention to my body way too much, if that makes any sense.  It might be because my clothes don't fit well these days.  Either way, I know that if I felt completely comfortable with my size, I wouldn't be so obsessed about my body.  I would be content, happy, and just live my life.  But, obviously, to me, my body is not meant to be this size as it seems to be letting me know regularly that it doesn't like it. I need to listen to my body. I haven't a goal weight.  I remember the first time I lost weight I reached point where I felt good.  I felt comfortable in my skin and remember voicing it to my roommate at the time.  I was lying on the couch and just realized how much I felt like I fit in my body again.  That's what I want.  I'm not looking for uber skinny.  I'm just looking for the moment when I stop and think, "Damn, I feel good.  Hell, I look good, too!"  I think I might have been a size 12.  Don't know.  I'm wasn't measuring it.  It's all about feeling. I'm not sure if Weight Watchers does the BMI thing, but I hope not.  I have definite opinions on the BMI.  These opinions usually involve a lot of growling and cursing.  Anything that seems to think I should be 110 pounds is about the dumbest thing I've ever encountered.  Seriously.  At a size 8, I was 145 pounds.  This is because I am built like an Amazon.  Much like my mother, I have big bones, a thick rib cage, broad shoulders, hella awesome boobage, and a tendency towards a muscular build.  110 pounds would be anorexic for me.  I actually got lower than 145 for a while and I kept feeling...off.  It's hard to explain.  My body knows when it's happy, and when I reach Happy, then I will maintain.  Happy might be more than 145, but I'm not going to argue with my body.  It knows what's best. And, yes, that sound seriously cheesy, but do people really ever just listen to their bodies?  Well, it's actually listening to that part of your brain you don't normally hear, that part that's more under the radar and more concerned with your every day function.  That part tends to let you know in subtle ways when it's not happy. Either way, whether it's our bodies or brains, our selves know when we are happy.  If you are happy at 200 pounds, 110 pounds, or anything under, over, and in between, bravo!  It sucks we aren't allowed to be happy with who we are in today's America, but I will never judge anyone who is perfectly content in his or her self.  Instead, I will applaude them for ignoring the parts of society and money-mongering who try to tell us what will make us happy.  I hope we can all be that way.  Then, maybe, that shit will go away, and people can be people, and we can find we are attracted to this that or the other and not feel weird for it. I have my dreams. ______________________________________ Weight Watchers Day One: They want me to eat all those points worth of food.  All of them.  I know that isn't normally a problem if I eat my normal way, but in Paying Attention to My Body and Brain, it wants the things that really don't cost much points.  I ate half a box of Stove Top Stuffing tonight and it wasn't even close to meeting my points.  This might be harder than I thought.