Recently in Paper Mache Category

As the title says, I have an emergency mask project commissioned by a tweet peep who is also a fellow SCA-dian. 

She needs it by the 6th.

She's in Kansas.

For anyone else, this could be a one way trip to Crazy Town.  Fortunately for me, I have season passes.

So, the beginning has been slow.  We had to put up shelves in my room so that I actually had space to work, which we did and it's wonderful.  Of course, it took me two hours to actually get things put on the shelves because just when I'd get a shelf arranged, I'd decide that maybe it would be better if that stuff was on that shelf over there...  Yeah, two hours of being OCD doesn't get things done. 

So does being sucked in on a video game.  Yeah, I lost a helluva a lot of time there.  I apologize, Zoe, but fear not, things are right on track.

Except, of course, as I've been warned, nothing is drying.  The humidity is sucking something fierce right now.  So, for now, I have said mask base sitting in front of a space heater, which is also taking some of that dampness out of my room.  I've got two layers on the base.  I'm hoping that will be enough.  If not, the next layer will dry in the oven.  I just didn't want the base to dry so fast that it shrank, but I think that's mostly a paper pulp issue, which is why I started with a base of paper strips.  Definitely less shrinkage.

This has also caused me to mentally write a letter to myself in my head:

Dear Me,

So, remember when you stated that you were going to make a bunch of mask blanks to make moments like these a little easier?  Yeah.  I hate you, too.

Love,
Me

It's a quarter to three in the am, and I am wide awake.  A few hours ago, I was dead asleep, but then around one am my eyes popped open and I haven't been able to get back to sleep since.  My stomach has been feeling ooky most of the day.  I just had some miso soup to try and quiet it down.  I don't feel like I'm coming down with something, but I can't explain the ickiness in my stomach today. So, I'm awake. In the middle of thoughts of "can't add another layer to the spider yet because it's not dry enough" and "I wonder if paper mache glue will keep if I mix a large amount and store it in a covered bowl," I decided that a blog post might help me relax enough to sleep.  Worth a shot. The plans for the Zombie Apocalypse party are coming along.  The theme itself will mostly exists through the guests.  I wanted to build zombie props and all sorts of things, but my laboratory didn't get finished in time and there is only so much time in the day.  Barring that, it's still coming along.  The official email invite went out yesterday.  I've slowly gotten some of the decorating done.  The props I'm working on are coming along.  People seem genuinely excited.  I think it will be pretty cool. There is only one problem: apparently a newbie to our group posted an evite for her own Halloween party happening on the same day.  Now, I don't care that she's throwing one, but there does seem to be a sense of competition seeing as how after I sent my invite, she posted that she just "wanted to point out" that it was also their first wedding anniversary and she would love to celebrate it with everyone.  Now, I'm not going to lie, that little guilt trip made me twitch on the inside a little.  Multiple parties are great because it means people can wander to different venues, but don't guilt people into going.  On the advice of Super Husband, I wrote her a letter expressing that we are not putting on our party at the same time as hers as competition.  Our party has been in the works for a year.  However, instead of inadvertently competing, I suggested we combine our parties at one venue and celebrate all our anniversaries and really have a bash. She has yet to respond.  I thought it was a fab idea.  We'll see if she ever emails back. Until then, I have no time to worry about it.  Lots of props to finish. Speaking of, why am I the only one in this group that works with paper mache?  If I had about two other people who worked in it, we could so get some zombie parts out by the party. Oh, well. The good thing is now that I have a dedicated room for working with mache, I will be able to get props worked on throughout the year.  Next year's theme for the party will be Freak Show, and boy, do I ever have some ideas... ...I wonder who is going to be willing enough to lend us their pavillion for the sideshow attractions... But, I'm getting ahead of myself.  I need to focus on the current party. I just wish there wasn't a major SCA event this weekend, but barring illness or other disasters, I have to go.  I guess there will be some late nights over the coming weeks. If this night is any indication, that won't be a problem since apparently my sleep pattern has been randomized. It's going to be an interesting month. _________________________________ I don't know why I start to get nervous around the time of the party.  I guess there's a part of me that's afraid that people will be bored, which in this group is a nie impossibility.  They always find something to do or blow up.  That reminds me, I need to send warnings out to the neighbors soon...

I've been a little busy with the paper mache thing. How busy? Behold my once empty and neat creative lair: [caption id="attachment_482" align="alignnone" width="200" caption="I swear the picture makes it look neater than it actually is."][/caption] There are two pumpkins that have to be done within the next couple of weeks and sent to Mom. There are more I want to do and get done just to have.  The thing in the lower left corner that looks like it's in some fetish play involving painter's tape is actually the beginning of a very large spider.  (Yeah, the party is themed "Zombie Apocalypse" but I just don't have the time to do zombies.  They are more involved than a spider.  So, we will pretend we are having a party during the apocalypse.  Hey, it happens during hurricanes all the time.) The pipes and blue foam monstrosity is the innards of the Grim Reaper.  He is in need of some repairs. As you can tell, the room is badly in need of shelves.  As Super Hubby is fond of saying, "Step at a time."  Right now, I must focus on getting things ready for the party.  This weekend will include massive unpacking and decorating.  At some point in the next few weeks between making with the party readiness and work and stuff, I have to come up with a costume. I'm still thinking 50's housewife with Valium-induced insanity.  So insane she's adopted a zombie child... [caption id="attachment_483" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Ya'll remember Timmy, right? He's such a good kid; eats all the brains on his plate..."][/caption] Timmy is currently sitting at the dining room table, waiting for "Mom" to feed him.  Oh, I have ideas...oh, yes...ideas... Until then, I have to get those damned pumpkins done.  Sleep?  Yeah, not so much this weekend. Of course, I have no one to blame but myself.  I promised Mom and Dinah pumpkins.  Pumpkins they will get. And, it has to be soon. Wow.  No pressure. ___________________________ Timmy likes his brains with lots of ketchup because it reminds him of blood.  Timmy is such a Good Child...

I don't know what the hell is up with Wordpress right now.  I keep getting these weird errors that go away if I reload. It's happening a lot lately.  If anyone has problems, let me know.  I might have to have Super Husband look at the code. Yeah, so I've been looking in the mirror, which is a whole lot of dangerous. I've gained a lot of weight.  I really need to do something about that. Here's the hysterical thing: I was hanging with the girls last night after we fed and then kicked the guys out the door (nearly literally) and K. was talking about how her baby might be allergic to corn syrup.  I made a comment about how that will be hard because she couldn't eat anything and how I might be jealous of that.   A. looked at me and said, "Pretend you're allergic."  That immediately set off my "Why the hell didn't I think of that" alarm.  So, today, I set about nixing the things with corn syrup to which I was faux allergic.  Wouldn't you know that we only have the soda we keep for guests and one bottle of salad dressing that fits that bill?  My really easy diet solution just sprouted wings and flew out the window. Dammit. You know, all that argument about high fructose corn syrup making you fat seriously crashes when it's not even in your house. I suck at counting calories.  I'm looking at the things I can cut out of my diet.  Imagine a smoker going cold turkey.  This will not be pleasant. I've also come to terms with the fact that I may have to allow myself to jump into the evil white-water river that is Facebook.  People don't send fucking emails these days.  They just update Facebook.  I can't find out what my friends are doing otherwise.  (Except for those few who are resisting.  I feel so weak.) As I've said on my equally evil Twitter account: it will be the grumpiest Facebook ever.  "Fuck you all!  Now, what the hell are you up to?" I am afraid of the friends list that will create. Speaking of creating, there has been little of that these days.  This disturbs me.  A lot of it is because our "mess room" has not be set into motion. That needs to happen soon.  Partially because I have this incredible desire to shop for peel-and-stick floor tiles at the Dollar Store as has been recommended to me, and also because I refuse to make a bigger mess in our almost empty sunroom than the cats have already achieved.  The recommendation by a friend to call it the Vomitorium might not be far-fetched.  (Fucking cats.  They feel the need to puke, and of course, they choose the only carpeted place in the house.) My mom has also offered me a chance to sell my stuff at her local farmer's market.  I think my permanent jack o'lanterns might go over well. Only one way to find out. Also, just for the randomness:  Ymac Sumac had a friggin' amazing voice! Google her if you don't know.  It will increase your Google-Fu powers. ____________________________ Yeah, so it's not the most coherent post, but ask me if I care.  It's what's happening that's a helluva lot more interesting than the fact we got new curtains for the den.  A part of me is seriously thrilled, the other part wants to kill the obviously house-wifey part and bury her under the poorly-made wishing well created by the previous owner.

Let's see: The mask is done and given to it's rightful owner.  There is need for some correction, but we'll get to that.  (Damn polyurethane.) I'm nearly done with one piece of embroidery and the other will not take long, so they will be put in the mail soon. I've got two dragons to do, but they sort of work themselves. And, one Ball of Bun, which is a whole day of work. So, here it is...the moment...the moment I can look at my paper mache table (which is our kitchen table, but the hubby doesn't give me grief about it) and can honestly smile that knowing smile of someone who can start a new project. "But, you have all those others!" you might shout. Not that you will because many of you who visit here have the same problem of not enough time in the day to satisfy the Monster of Creation. We all have one.  You have to sacrifice at least one pound of creative service a day to it or it gets very growly and wants to chew on your ears. Mine, poor dear, was hiding in a closet, locked in a box for a very long time. In the beginning, it was running free.  Running in circles mostly, but really only until it found a direction.  But, then, a change, a move made it a little more wary.  It found itself a little less accepted.  When it did attempt to crawl out and shine, it was frowned at, told it wasn't good enough, and forced into a little box.  Sometimes, it would peek out of the box, but there would be the same coldness.  It would shiver and duck back into the box.  Eventually, the box went into a very deep, very dark closet... Many years later, I found the little box, and opened it, and the Monster of Creation blinked at me in the light but was a little too nervous to come out just yet and sought out a shadowy corner of the box... It took a lot of months to coax it out.  But, after using soothing music, a few happy comments, a few carrots and the odd cupcake, the once shy, huddling thing has decided it no longer needs to be afraid and is currently jumping up and down on my head. The problem with that is it's had a lot of pent up energy, meaning,  it's a little hyper-active.  This is probably the source of my Project ADD.  My Monster of Creation is just so excited all the time that it flits from one project to the next.  I think it feels like it doesn't have enough time left in life to do everything it wants to do. Silly monster. I often lose to it.  It's hard to say no to it when it's suffered so.  As this blog post has been written over the weekend, a new paper mache project has surfaced.  A new mask based on a nightmare I had.  The good thing about it is that it's not needing to be finished Now.  It can develop as the Monster sees fit.  That's rather nice. And, oh yes, it's going in the Halloween pile.  Oh, a new jack o'lantern will be started, too.  Also, Scratch.  Scratch is a creature that has been in the works for years.  I can never get his skeleton right... Halloween is months away. Good time to start all of these new ideas.  No rush.  No stress.  And, besides, every time I start a new Halloween project I tend to stand in the kitchen and cackle like a mad scientist.  (No, that is not an exagerration.  Ask the hubby.) It's a good feeling seeing your evil plans coming to fruition. The next Halloween party has a Zombie Apocolypse theme.  By the gods, I will have the crawling zombie torso and the squirming zombie head on a plaque... I think when I get this way, my Monster of Creation hops up and down happily wringing its hands because other than crochet, Halloween stuff is the only time it gets really excited. I just had a thought, though.  I think I need to give my little Monster of Creation a form.  No one else can see him, of course.  All of our Monsters are very personal, but I think some times they wouldn't mind people knowing they're there and what they look like.  I'm betting mine would hope I would make him fiercer than he is, but we'll have to see on that one. In fact, I challenge everyone to show off their Monsters of Creation.  I've seen what you guys can do.  This challenge is a walk in the park. That is, of course, if you can get the little boogers to sit still long enough to copy them... Wouldn't hurt to give them a name either.  I never really had a name for mine before.  He was always just my little monster.  Have to give him a name... ________________ There are times I wonder if my monster shouldn't be on some medication to try to focus its energies, but you know, that would be stupid.  Mosters of Creation are meant to be wild, untamed, and annoyingly everywhere.  It's their nature.  I don't think I'll mess with that.

If any of you follow me on Twitter (you poor dears), you have witnessed the Chaos of Finishing of a Mardi Gras mask one of my best friends commissioned.  You have also witnessed the assorted pink shaded animals that were a result of exposure to a whole lot of glue fumes. You probably dearly regret following me simply because it was like a massive aerial bombing of tweets.  A regular luftwaffe of the twitterverse.  I hope the populous found some shelter. Still, I had to have something to do between layers of paint besides cursing their drying times.  (I guess I could have been curing my enemies, but since I refuse to acknowledge them that seemed counterproductive. Although, I could have cursed Little Rock drivers.  Yes, like most unearthly spawn of the pits, they deserve it.) That, and I was, as I mentioned, in the throes of the Chaos of Finishing. Surely others suffer from this.  It doesn't matter when you started a project.  If you have need to do any work on it when it is close to deadline, the Gods of Creation will suddenly start making bets on your chances of finishing, which, of course, leads to some devious slight-of-hand to push things in one favor or another.  This includes such lovely machinations as that which I suffered over the last several days:

• the piece suddenly turning up lopsided and needing structural work, pushing painting off for another day.
• losing a whole day and evening by being invited to a gathering of project completion for which I felt paper mache was too messy, and then pizza, and then Bad Movie Night.
• paint that refuses to dry the color I want it...after three tries.
• polyurethane pooling in odd places and discoloring my carefully mixed paint job and laughing at me because it knows I haven't the time to fix it.
• feathers.  Ye gods, the Feathers!
• elastic deciding to shrink and then refusing to be adjusted.
• glue managing to get onto bits I tried very hard to avoid and then watching as it laughed at me because it knew if I tried removing it the paint would go with it...the little whore.

Now, honestly, while my dear friend felt bad for my whining on Twitter, it was just the general whining of the last days of a project.  Strangely enough, it seems to be mostly on one particular medium.  The crocheted creatures usually produce whining about having to actually, you know, sew.  Paper Mache brings all sorts of near demonic trouble. Makes you wonder why I still do it. Well, you know, it's the love of the medium: Oh sure, this isn't a complicated piece, but you know, paper mache is lovely enough to mold into that which is complicated just as easily as pieces like this where the most complicated aspects are the paint deciding it wants to go against its label, convincing the felt backing it really needs to be round, and dammit, the Feathers! Even simplicity can be complicated, and the medium works beautifully for that. So, okay, I curse it as much as I love it, but when you're in the throes of the Chaos of Finishing, even the wide-eyed attentions of a favorite child makes you snarl in paranoia, "You're just laughing at me, aren't you?" In the past, this stuff happened when I'm dealing with plaster, aka the Milk of the Devil.  But, I have come to realize that the Creation Gods have figured out that if they really screw with a favored medium, it improves the point spread. You should see what they do when I'm trying to finish a crochet project. I am doomed to the Chaos of Finishing. What the Creation Gods don't know is I work very well under pressure when it comes to a favored medium. Oh, sure, I suck under pressure at work or in every day life, but when it comes to paper mache, I don't friggin' give up until I see the smile on the face of the person for which the project was intended. I laugh at their use of my pain for their amusement! But, dammit, I wish they'd quit screwing with the paint. ______________________ I do worry about my abject cursing at every layer of paint working like a kind of voodoo doll.  I mean, I use some pretty heavy cursing at times.  Note to those who might end up with my masks: if  you put on the mask and sailors cover their ears and start running, then I might need to do some minor adjustments...

You Art Doll people are going to laugh at me.  You're going to snicker and point and discuss in hushed whispers the type of rock I was living under. Tonight, I have been enlightened, or at least taken a few steps down the path to crafting Nirvana. For the first time, I used Creative Paperclay. For those not in the know, you've probably seen it at Hobby Lobby or Michael's or any other hobby shop. [caption id="attachment_254" align="alignnone" width="350" caption="A moldable bit of heaven"][/caption] This stuff is bliss! I'm trying very hard to get a Mardi Gras mask ready by Saturday, and one of the problems I always run into with paper mache is getting a nice smooth texture when I want it.  A lot of it has to do with pulp drying unevenly.  I use an instant pulp which is both loved and hated in the paper mache world, but I like it...except for the uneven drying.  Granted, I could probably do better making my own pulp, but I haven't found a recipe I truly like.  And, right now, I have no time.  I was told by a very nice person back in October that Creative Paperclay was great for getting a smooth finish in a pinch. Man, was she ever right.  This stuff is awesome!  A little goes a long way when you're doing just a thin "skin", and it's going to save me hours of sanding.  And, oh, man, the detail work I can get out of it!  I'm pretty good at getting a nice detail out of paper pulp, but for smaller more intricate designs, this stuff is going to be a godsend. Plus, like clay, it only needs a little water to keep it moist and can be rehydrated if it dries out.  Now, that can also be a problem if you're not careful.  That makes it severely vulnerable to moisture of any kind.  Humidity wrings its hands and cackles evilly at this stuff.  It knows it won't even have to tie it to a train track to have its way with it.  Oh, yes, Humidity wears a bad top hat and a pointy mustache. That means you have to seal the hell out of it.  It means that whenever I use it for something like a mask, it will be used on top of the more durable paper pulp and strips dipped in my own glue mixture.  I'll still have to seal the hell out of it, but at least it won't just randomly lose parts.  (Like that instant paper pulp will do if left out in the humidity even though I did seal it.  Humidity is cruel and will look for any weak spots it can.  So, I can't just seal it.  I have to seal it until it can be used for underwater masquerades.) But, eh, so far, that's the only problem I've found with it.  It's beautiful.  The only thing better is actual clay, and the hubby is threatening to buy a kiln one day.  I'll try to not drool. So, yes, Art Doll people, point and laugh and pat me on the head.  I know that I obviously have missed out.  The only excuse I can offer for being this sheltered was most of the stuff I make out of paper mache is for Halloween or whatever other twisted reason I have, and a rotting zombie arm really doesn't need a smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom finish.  Neither do jack o'lanterns or most masks. Not that this stuff won't be useful in creating some pretty interesting effects... Probably not so much when I build the zombie torso...but I'm hoping to get into latex for that. Poor Todd.  What will he ever do with me. Well, I know what he can do with me, but I hope that in more non-intimate moments he'll consider building the mechanical armature for my zombie torso... Holy back to the subject at hand, Batman! Although, I really don't have much else to say about it.  It's lovely, lovely stuff, and I plan on continuing my affair with it as long as I can afford it. It's much cheaper than a gigolo if nothing else. My only question is: Where can I buy this stuff in bulk? ________________________ You Art Doll folks will probably wonder why I haven't discovered the joys of polymer.  I have discovered Sculpy which I'm assuming is rather close.  Thing is, I don't much like how it feels in my hands.  It's like the difference between crocheting with wool and acrylic yarn.  It's got an odd feel to it and leaves a funny residue. Now, it's definitely not like I dislike the stuff; I just don't like it as much right now. I'm sure, much to my husband's dismay, it will be something else in the world of craft that I learn to love. Random note: There is World of Warcraft...why not a video game called World of Craft?  All of the characters could have a choice to be skilled in the various mediums of craft and the monsters to fight would be Big Business hordes, bad legislation trolls, rogue patterns, and moths.