Recently in Uncategorized Category

Christmas is in six weeks. Let the screams of crafters begin now...

Wine? Check. Playlist? Check. Completion of completely awesome party with completely awesome friends so there is no creative distraction? Check, with evidence: [caption id="attachment_502" align="alignnone" width="300" caption=""Re: Your Brains" is still ringing around the neighborhood."][/caption] [caption id="attachment_503" align="alignnone" width="200" caption="Many zombies came, ate, and shambled away."][/caption] * (Yeah, there was some serious fun.  Although, I think Absinthe is officially banned from the house.) About twenty plots in my head and no outline to speak of although I tried desperately and will probably find myself wandering blindly from plot to plot until I settle upon one? Check. Cat lying against my low back between the computer chair and me just to make sure I'm uncomfortable alert enough to stay awake and get writing done? Check. A guarantee that there is a definite streak of masochism that is required to participate in something so insane? Check. Lack of sleep? Working on it. Oh yeah...*cracks knuckles*...I'm ready... ... ... GO! ___________________________ *If you want to see more of the Halloween party pics, go here. We had trick-or-treaters! Okay, I'm good now.

Two posts within an hour?  Is the world ending?  We aren't so lucky, my pets.  Yes, lucky.  Think of it, people who know the world is going to end live their lives to the fullest right up until that moment.  The end of the world is an awakening!  Without its threat we march steadfastly through the doldrums of life without ever realizing our desires... And, that is your bullshit philosophical moment for the week. Heeeere's Thursday!

• The biggest thing to happen this week is Super Hubby went in to the urologist to insure that we don't end up spawning.  He is doing fine.  Not really feeling that sore, which is good.  If all went well, in a couple of months, we'll get the "Woohoo!  You're sterile!" Hallmark card and I can come off the pills.  Good thing we're not having kids.  I get the feeling Stupid Baby Tricks wouldn't go over well with most folks.
• There has been a massive plan hatched within our circle of friends to attend Dragon Con next year.  It will be like an invasion!  We will strike fear and alcohol into the geek masses!  We will make sparkly vampires cry and reward pirates with rum!  Yes, it will be...beautiful.  *sniffle*
• Spa Owner is taking today off for her birthday so I be on my own.  It's all good.  She needs to take more breaks.  She works very hard.  I'm proud of her for taking care of herself and taking the time to spend with her daughter who really needs that kind of quality time.  Go, Spa Owner!
• I'm a paper maching fool and loving every damn second!  My mess room/lab/autopsy room has fueled creativity that might need to be caged later.
• The Hubby and I have been together for five years last week.  At the end of this month, we will have been married one year.  It's been an awesome ride.  We are so going to be those old people who scare the neighborhood.  A few Halloweens will cure any potential thief of wanting to tread into our abode.  Mwahahahahhaah!
• A friend got free tickets into a pre-screening of "Zombieland" tonight and we were invited!  I'm so excited!  A night of zombies, laughs, and friends!  I've never attended a pre-screening.  I feel so special.
• No, my house isn't really decorated for Halloween, yet.  Yes, I know that this is really late for me.  This weekend will be some serious decorating.
• Along those lines, I've lost nearly six pounds, and my personal reward to me is to go to the Halloween Express and get a new professional prop.  *Squeeeeeee!*
• I still haven't figured out why anyone would choose any holiday over Halloween.  Weirdos.
• My other blog is still down.  I do not poke the husband to fix it because he has other stuff to fix, but soon, there will be poking in the ribs.  If nothing else, I have to review "Scribblenauts" for the DS.
• "Scribblenauts" isn't without its issues, but typing into the keyboard to summon "virgin" and getting a mop-headed gaming boy with a Nintendo t-shirt negates any control issues.  Fun on a stick!
• Along with the impending Halloween party and our first anniversary of being hitched, I also have NaNoWriMo to worry over.  I don't have a famliy that stresses me over the holidays*, but I create my own stress anyway.
• My first attempt at baking homemade bread solo was laughable at best.
• I corrected that Monday.  I am not a bread guru, but I have levelled up in my bread-baking skills!  Ding!
• My cat still hasn't figured out that my socks are perfectly happy on their shelf and don't need to litter the hallway.  Explaining this to her only created a moment of "present belly" cuteness that made me realize she really does know what she's doing.

I don't know why Thursdays are my days to vent.  I think in some way, Friday's don't count because they are universal party-in-your-own-personal-happiness days. All Hail Fridays! __________________________

So, I missed last week. I choose to live life without regrets. So, this week has had some interesting developments and  moments of "so, I got out of bed for what good reason?"

• The Louisiana Curse, as many of you who follow me on Facebook and Twitter know, held strong and true this last weekend.  While making my way across an event site with some friends who were concerned about my well-being to make my way across said site after so many drinks (even though I wasn't nearly as drunk as one of the pair walking me back), I managed to find the one and only hole on the entire site and twist my ankle.  So, yes, when I go to an event down south, I always fall and hurt myself.  I figure that I hate Louisiana and it hates me right back with slippery port o' potty floors, tree stumps, and muddy holes.  I hear pollution is causing seas to rise and coasts to erode.  A few thousand more plastic water bottles and Louisiana will be nothing more than an oil spot on the ocean and my revenge shall be complete.
• "The Vampire's Assistant"?  Are you fucking kidding me?  I couldn't finish watching the trailer because it's total stupidity was like watching one of the Sweet Valley High books put to the screen!  What few special effects I saw were obviously done by an emo tween, and the rest was just screaming "Cashing in on the whole teenager vampire fetish started by a Mormon who obviously has some serious issues."
• Now, "Zombieland?"  That's a movie with some bite.  No pun intended.  If the trailers say anything, it will have some serious silliness mixed with the satirical.  See, if the previous movie mentioned would not seemingly take itself seriously, it might not end up a victim of one of our bad movie nights.  "Zombieland," however, is obviously high comedy...with zombies.  Woo!
• No, I don't have a thing about vampires.  I have a thing about vampires that aren't basically evil, disgusting beasts who make you fear there might not be an afterlife.  I went through the "vampires are pretty" phase and came out the other side realizing that, hey, that's some serious necrophilia going on there, and um, ew.
• So, Super Hubby is going in for surgery on Monday.  It's nothing major, just an insurance against mutant children in the future.  Yes, he's going to be "snipped", "fixed", "broken", or however you call it.  It was happening sooner than I thought.  It sucks because I know my doctor would've given me grief for weeks for wanting a more solid birth control solution without having kids.  Turns out, the method for me isn't as dependable.  That's some poetic justice there.  Oh, and I would like to say, and I will when I see him next, a nice, solid "Fuck you" to a dear friend of ours who declared I will want kids in a couple of years.  I am so sick of people putting a fucking timetable on my uterus.
• So, the Halloween party is in three weeks.  It has a theme.  I am not prepared for such theme for various reasons.  I am scrambling to make things fit the theme.  Next year will be better.  This year...I'm biting my nails that people will enjoy it!
• We decided tonight that it's especially good that we're not wanting kids because we figure Stupid Baby Tricks probably wouldn't go over well with most folks.
• And, no, I don't hate children.
• Speaking of kids, my nieces are doing fantastic!  My oldest niece is reading!  Reading!  That's so fab I don't know what to do!  Her little sister is making the gymnastics people stand in awe of her at the age of three!  My girls are awesome!  I will so corrupt them into even more awesome little monsters!  Wind 'em up and let 'em go is our policy in this family!  Woo!
• I've lost 4 pounds on  Weight Watchers!  I'm not perfect, but it's still working.  Now, that is an advert if I ever heard one.
• Holy, shit!  Three weeks until the party?  There is no sleep in my future!
• My mom?  Completely awesome.  She is a nurse during the Swine Flu "scare".  Trust me, if anyone deserves our pity it's our healthcare folks dealing with overreacting idiots.
• The cousin I used to babysit is having her second kid.  Yes, I feel quite old.  Screw you people who remember my birthday and snicker.
• I am an adult.  I can have ice cream for dinner.  Screw you kids on my lawn!

So, this concludes another Totally Random Thursday.  Please tip your waitress.  The economy is bad, I know, but at least give her something to remember.  Vibrators count. ___________________________ So, I'm knee deep in projects and not much in the way of pictures.  There will be.  I can't be held responsible for their quality seeing as how I'll be high on no sleep and alcohol.  But, those who see them at the party will be able to account for the obvious lack of sleep and alchohol.  I love Halloween.

So, I joined Weight Watchers. Despite my ob/gyn's reassurance that  Depo Provera will not make me gain weight, 40 pounds in three years really makes me side with my more knowledgable GP who explained just why those statistics the ob/gyn was quoting to me were skewed on the side of teh Depo creators.  Let's add to that every woman I have ever met who ever tried Depo telling me they gained weight really fast.  Now, let's also add to this my heritage.  I'm Mexican/Native Indian/German.  That is the kind of genetic make-up guaranteed to make me blow up like Violet in "Willy Wonka" 'cept that it won't be blueberry juice giving me my nice round appearance. I'm definitely changing ob/gyn.  I'm also, because of said genetic make-up and current age, having a hell of a time losing the weight.  So, to Weight Watchers I go. I've done it before, and I did lose weight, and I did keep it off for a long time.  So, at least I know it will work at least some. I'm just a little depressed I'm having to go back.  Now, granted, on top of the Depo, hubby and I have not been very good with our general diet and that is definitely a contribution.  I won't deny that, and neither will he.  Still, I hate that I'm in this position again. Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm not fatphobic or anything.  I find a lot of beauty in women of all sizes.  I would probably find a lot of beauty in me if I wasn't so uncomfortable.  And, that's the thing, I'm not comfortable.  I know women twice my size who are perfectly happy.  I know women rail thin who are also content.  I also know those in those same categories who hate themselves.  Me?  Okay, for a while it was hatred fed by unreal expectations of society.  I've come to terms with that.  Now, I just don't feel right.  I don't feel comfortable.  I don't feel healthy.  I feel like I pay attention to my body way too much, if that makes any sense.  It might be because my clothes don't fit well these days.  Either way, I know that if I felt completely comfortable with my size, I wouldn't be so obsessed about my body.  I would be content, happy, and just live my life.  But, obviously, to me, my body is not meant to be this size as it seems to be letting me know regularly that it doesn't like it. I need to listen to my body. I haven't a goal weight.  I remember the first time I lost weight I reached point where I felt good.  I felt comfortable in my skin and remember voicing it to my roommate at the time.  I was lying on the couch and just realized how much I felt like I fit in my body again.  That's what I want.  I'm not looking for uber skinny.  I'm just looking for the moment when I stop and think, "Damn, I feel good.  Hell, I look good, too!"  I think I might have been a size 12.  Don't know.  I'm wasn't measuring it.  It's all about feeling. I'm not sure if Weight Watchers does the BMI thing, but I hope not.  I have definite opinions on the BMI.  These opinions usually involve a lot of growling and cursing.  Anything that seems to think I should be 110 pounds is about the dumbest thing I've ever encountered.  Seriously.  At a size 8, I was 145 pounds.  This is because I am built like an Amazon.  Much like my mother, I have big bones, a thick rib cage, broad shoulders, hella awesome boobage, and a tendency towards a muscular build.  110 pounds would be anorexic for me.  I actually got lower than 145 for a while and I kept feeling...off.  It's hard to explain.  My body knows when it's happy, and when I reach Happy, then I will maintain.  Happy might be more than 145, but I'm not going to argue with my body.  It knows what's best. And, yes, that sound seriously cheesy, but do people really ever just listen to their bodies?  Well, it's actually listening to that part of your brain you don't normally hear, that part that's more under the radar and more concerned with your every day function.  That part tends to let you know in subtle ways when it's not happy. Either way, whether it's our bodies or brains, our selves know when we are happy.  If you are happy at 200 pounds, 110 pounds, or anything under, over, and in between, bravo!  It sucks we aren't allowed to be happy with who we are in today's America, but I will never judge anyone who is perfectly content in his or her self.  Instead, I will applaude them for ignoring the parts of society and money-mongering who try to tell us what will make us happy.  I hope we can all be that way.  Then, maybe, that shit will go away, and people can be people, and we can find we are attracted to this that or the other and not feel weird for it. I have my dreams. ______________________________________ Weight Watchers Day One: They want me to eat all those points worth of food.  All of them.  I know that isn't normally a problem if I eat my normal way, but in Paying Attention to My Body and Brain, it wants the things that really don't cost much points.  I ate half a box of Stove Top Stuffing tonight and it wasn't even close to meeting my points.  This might be harder than I thought.

So, yeah, Go Daddy and very many Word Press blogs were hacked into and caused much disturbance. I won't go into details, but I will explain the reason Ye Olde Cultist is not as it once was is because during the fixing process Super Husband deleted the wrong folder.  We're good with this.  At least the site is still up.  However, I will have to beg forgiveness while we fix the over all look of the place. I loathe to say this but: This site is under construction.

I almost forgot it was Thursday and I had promised I was going to do this so that at least one post got out a week.  I've been working since last Tuesday.  My days are a little thrown off. This week's Totally Random Thursday is brought to you by the number 2 (in representation of the crap that's happened this week.) and the letter "P" for the puking baby brought to the shop:

• I had a woman call the spa and scream at me for making her 87-year-old mother sick because we "had mold". Yes, we have a roof problem, but there is no mold according to our building manager's person.  However, we have wiped everything down with bleach and emailed the building owner.  I say "we" but it's really the part owner and the total owner.  I swear, if it's not fixed, I will fix it.  We have no mold of which we know, but by the gods, I will make life hell for the building owner if he doesn't fix the bloody roof!
• I smell like bleach after we freaked out and cleaned the spa's kitchen just in case.
• The dragonfly hordes have been seriously massive in and around our neighborhood.  Massive!  At least an estimated hundred dragonflies per yard.  I've never seen the clouds so massive. I hope it's because of the rain and the lack of funds to spray the yards with pesticides.  The Dragonflies are doing their jobs.  Let them!  Let them eat the mosquito armies!  Let them do their dragonfly jobs!
• My sister-in-law is being emotionally savaged by a local person who was once her best friend.  I have told her to let it go, which is easier sad than done.  I had a chance to mangle said person through email.  I know it will help nothing, but damn if it won't make me feel better.  I resisted...dammit.
• I have been working since last Tues.  Outside a non-first-world country that's a laugh, but in this first-world country...bloody hell I can't wait until Friday!
• Just so ya'll missed it:  I smell like bleach.
• The person who hired us for the golf tourney still hasn't paid us.  I told Spa Owner to tell him she was sending "her girl" to get the check.  I would really hate to take it out on his knee-caps.  *cracks knuckles*
• Every woman over the age of 60 starts undressing before I can leave the massage room.  I know it's because they have no reason to be ashamed, but for the sake of my job, at least wait until I leave the room so I can't be sued later!

Now that I want to write random, there isn't so much random.  Damn you the Law of Murphy!  Goddamn you to hell! _________________ So, yeah, the weekend I was totally not at work, nothing interesting other than the guy smoking in the rain.  Last weekend, we endured sweaty golfers of a country club tourney.  They tipped really well, but still...sweaty golfers...It's been a loooooong week.

So, yes, it has happened. We have lost yet another icon to the great, vast beyond.  Once more a great contributer to our life experience has left us to wonder how we'll really see a world without him. I am, of course, talking about Gidget, the Taco Bell Chihuahua: [caption id="attachment_436" align="alignnone" width="225" caption="Yo quiero a pair of diamond-encrusted wings and a halo, bitches!"][/caption] Oh, and Walter Cronkite died, too. But, what would the world have been like without Gidget to remind us about the fast food numminess of Taco Bell and the ensuing gas bubbles of indigestion?  Where would we be without the easily quotable "Yo quiero, Taco Bell" to put on unending amounts of t-shirts, talking chihuahua dolls, and random crap?  Never mind that said quote came from a male voice out of a female chihuahua.  (I think it points to steroid use, but it will remain a "conspiracy theory" since no one will dare to slight such a beloved icon.) Unfortunately, the Gidget estate has decided to keep her funeral and memorial very private.  I know fans across the world would have loved to have it YouTube-d at least.  But, even her celebrity fans have chosen to mourn in peace. She lived a fabulous life of stardom and wealth.  Even when her days as a Taco Bell promotional pusher ended and she spiraled down into a hole of steroid-laced doggie treat binges, depressed tequila rages, and the odd fling with a very suspect Great Dane, she was very courteous and inviting to her fans.  She never forgot from where she came, even if the tequila made her question which dog house she visited last. After finding religion and inner peace, she cleaned up and started doing special appearances at dog shows and fairs in order to impart some much needed happiness to the world in general. She died of a stroke at the age of 15, leaving behind a grown litter and a better world. So, this week, it's asked of her fans to visit a Taco Bell and have a moment of silence, bean burrito held high, for our dear Gidget. Walk that Rainbow Bridge like a diva, girl! Good dog! ___________________________ Heeeeelloooooo, satire!  Okay, so I am actually pretty upset that Walter Cronkite died.  I think a real sense of honest journalism went with him.  I think "honest journalism" went out the window years ago and the internet is the only way to actually discern the truth among the trash, but you seriously have to work for it.  However, I couldn't help but make fun of and yet immortalize a pop culture icon like Gidget.  She was actually pretty cool as animal actors go.  She never minded that a man voiced her on TV.  Most actresses would have a fit, shoot some drugs, talk to a shrink, and then sue.  I imagine that from time to time she wet on the guy's ankles.  Good dog.  Goooood dog!

I don't know what the hell is up with Wordpress right now.  I keep getting these weird errors that go away if I reload. It's happening a lot lately.  If anyone has problems, let me know.  I might have to have Super Husband look at the code. Yeah, so I've been looking in the mirror, which is a whole lot of dangerous. I've gained a lot of weight.  I really need to do something about that. Here's the hysterical thing: I was hanging with the girls last night after we fed and then kicked the guys out the door (nearly literally) and K. was talking about how her baby might be allergic to corn syrup.  I made a comment about how that will be hard because she couldn't eat anything and how I might be jealous of that.   A. looked at me and said, "Pretend you're allergic."  That immediately set off my "Why the hell didn't I think of that" alarm.  So, today, I set about nixing the things with corn syrup to which I was faux allergic.  Wouldn't you know that we only have the soda we keep for guests and one bottle of salad dressing that fits that bill?  My really easy diet solution just sprouted wings and flew out the window. Dammit. You know, all that argument about high fructose corn syrup making you fat seriously crashes when it's not even in your house. I suck at counting calories.  I'm looking at the things I can cut out of my diet.  Imagine a smoker going cold turkey.  This will not be pleasant. I've also come to terms with the fact that I may have to allow myself to jump into the evil white-water river that is Facebook.  People don't send fucking emails these days.  They just update Facebook.  I can't find out what my friends are doing otherwise.  (Except for those few who are resisting.  I feel so weak.) As I've said on my equally evil Twitter account: it will be the grumpiest Facebook ever.  "Fuck you all!  Now, what the hell are you up to?" I am afraid of the friends list that will create. Speaking of creating, there has been little of that these days.  This disturbs me.  A lot of it is because our "mess room" has not be set into motion. That needs to happen soon.  Partially because I have this incredible desire to shop for peel-and-stick floor tiles at the Dollar Store as has been recommended to me, and also because I refuse to make a bigger mess in our almost empty sunroom than the cats have already achieved.  The recommendation by a friend to call it the Vomitorium might not be far-fetched.  (Fucking cats.  They feel the need to puke, and of course, they choose the only carpeted place in the house.) My mom has also offered me a chance to sell my stuff at her local farmer's market.  I think my permanent jack o'lanterns might go over well. Only one way to find out. Also, just for the randomness:  Ymac Sumac had a friggin' amazing voice! Google her if you don't know.  It will increase your Google-Fu powers. ____________________________ Yeah, so it's not the most coherent post, but ask me if I care.  It's what's happening that's a helluva lot more interesting than the fact we got new curtains for the den.  A part of me is seriously thrilled, the other part wants to kill the obviously house-wifey part and bury her under the poorly-made wishing well created by the previous owner.

You know, the first time I ever truly weeped for someone I didn't even know was when Jim Henson died. [caption id="attachment_413" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Kermit and Jim"][/caption] I never knew him but he was a member of my family.  Oh sure, I watched Bugs Bunny, Fat Albert, Scooby Doo, but those were cartoons.  There were things in my childhood that taught me to read and wonder and question and learn, not to just laugh when a cartoon cat got blugeoned with a hammer.  The best of those was Sesame Street.  Electric Company, 3-2-1 Contact, and Pinwheel were awesome, but nothing shaped me more than Sesame Street.  There was something so real and alive about Jim's Muppets.  Even the Muppet Show when I was too young to always get the jokes, I never felt left out.  The Muppets were like crazy cousins who only got to visit on holidays.  I loved every single one. I knew Jim as the man behind the Muppets.  It didn't make them seem less real.  I don't think I ever not knew they were anything more than puppets - well, except for my early days on Sesame Street -  but the puppeteers had such a way of making them practically extensions of their own souls, it was always hard to believe they didn't have lives of their own.  Even now as I watch the DVD releases of the Muppet Show, I still feel this sense of awe on how those beings are just some felt and glue.  They still touch my heart and whimsy. The day Jim suddenly died I felt I had lost a dear uncle.  He and his Muppets had been with me since the earliest days.  I was shaped by his creativity and love.  Hell, one day I woke up and was watching Sesame Street.  It was the episode where the human characters were trying to explain to Big Bird what death was.  Mr. Hooper was gone, and he wasn't coming back.  Watching that giant bird wrestle with his innocent lack of understanding touched me, because at 11, I still didn't quite get death myself. That's when my father called and told me my grandmother, to whom I was extremely close and of whom I still mourn 25 years later, had succumbed to cancer and died. There wasn't a moment since that I didn't feel some higher power was reaching out to me to explain what it was all about and that it really was okay.  Jim broke death to me in a way I could understand. His own death hit me very hard.  I cried off and on for several days.  I still have the Life and Time magazines that talked of his life, death, and legacy.  It's still very hard to read the words:

Jim Henson's lingering presence had been in powerful evidence the week before at his memorial service, an epic and almost unbearably moving event in which this shy puppeteer was laid to rest as if he had been the world's last living vestige of goodness and whimsy.  You would have had to have been a Muppet yourself to not feel the hair stand up on the back of your neck when Big Bird walked into the vastness of the Catherdral of St. John the Divine and sand a quavering rendition of Kermit's theme song, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'"

Yes, the tears still fall.  You may laugh, but when you spend your entire childhood being shaped by someone whose very soul was extended by the creatures he created, it's hard to not be attached to him.  It's hard to not feel as if you didn't really get closure.  After all, I didn't get to go to the funeral. And, honestly, I sometimes think that makes it even more powerful as I was never able to go to my beloved Grandma's funeral either.  I never ever got to say goodbye. I felt silly, in a way, for crying for a man I never even knew, but at the same time, Ididn't.  I did know him in a way.  Oh, sure, I didn't know him personally, but I knew his passion for life and love and gentleness and caring for each other.  I knew his ideas about using humor to teach kids and how it wasn't okay to shelter them from the world.  Sometimes hard issues like death came up, and instead of skirting around them, he helped kids to ask the had questions and face them head on.  Even when it hurt. Just like Mister Rogers. [caption id="attachment_414" align="alignnone" width="240" caption="Mister Rogers"][/caption] Yeah, I cried just has hard when he passed away. Where I had Sesame Street for whimsical education and having my imagination brought to life with bits of felt and glue, I had Mister Rogers as the face for it all.  He was a real person with real emotions.  He took us to the Land of Make Believe, but it was  just that, make believe.  When the trolley carried us back, we were in a real neighborhood with real people.  Well, real as far as we kids were concerned.  There was no lacking in the tackling of real issues children might face.  Death, anger, sadness, joy, laughter, curiosity, fear, love, hope...there was no taboo situation.  Everything was handled with love, care, gentleness, and in a way a child could understand.  I remember an episode where Fred Rogers explained that yes, we all get angry when we can't have our way, but it's what we do with it that counts.  Of course, being older, I don't always remember that lesson, but sometimes, it comes to my mind, and I hear Mister Rogers singing a soothing little song about it. He knew how to talk to kids in a gentle way that never seemed condenscending.  He spoke to us on our level without making us feel like little kids.  He made us feel like little people.  He explained that it's okay to be confused about the world.  It's a pretty confusing place.  Even adults have rough times.  I think that's why there was that episode where he took all of us on his trip to court to contest the parking ticket he had received.  (I thought I was crazy in that memory, but I looked it up.  It did indeed happen.)  Even then, even dealing with a very adult thing we kids didn't identify with, he managed to bring it to a level we could at least understand. I once had a supervisor tell me she never let her kids watch Mister Rogers because he was too "effeminate".  All I could think was, "Wow.  You deprived your children of this most gentle soul with this boundless wisdom because you attached your homophobic ideas where they don't belong.  Shame." He was a consumate human being who saw the best in us all. Hell, he and Henson both did, when you think about it. There was no way in this world these two men didn't shape me as a child.  I cried as if I had lost a relative or a close friend.   There was a small child in my heart that reached out and begged them not to go. I may sound old, but we lost a lot when they passed. You might be asking yourselves why I  am even writing about this. Well, you all know by now the recent trend of celebrity deaths we've had.  David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and of course, Michael Jackson. These are all people I grew up with in some way or another.  I don't feel quite attached to them as I did Jim Henson or Mister Rogers, but then again, they never touched my heart in that way. But, they touched someone's heart. These people were icons in their own right.  They have been around a long time and were part of the lives of more than one generation.  They are staples, constants we always thought would be there.  It's really hard to see them go. People are going to mourn for them.  People who have never known them.  It would be easy to mock them, but everyone, every0ne has mourned a family member they never really knew.  Everyone has been touched by someone, whether celebrity or not, someone they never really knew but whose passing leaves a dull ache in the heart.  It's not that their own families didn't mean more to them, but the pain of this person's passing is still there. I'm not going to begrudge these people their mourning.   The internet is a very cruel place where there will be much teasing, laughing, and poking at those who shed tears for the recent passings. I can't say anything. I cried for a puppeteer and a man who still believed in make believe. ___________________________ I'm not sure what makes you feel older: having your childhood icons pass on or listening to the music you thought was "hard core" play over the sound system in the grocery store.